Question: When he cheats on you with another woman, who do you forgive?
- Him
- Her
did he know that after he left, she picked herself up
and slept with anger, cursing the woman who took away what she thought
was a part of her? that she filled the side of her bed with an emptiness
so sharp it cut all the way to her lips? was he there when she folded
into herself, aching and aching and aching, trembling for skin she will not allow
herself to touch again? could he have seen how she grasped onto the jacket he had
left behind? did he care that she was a goddess and he made her bleed
ichor, bleed pain, bleed out?
did he stay?
(he called her needy and told her to get over herself, told her that
she should have seen it coming; she wasn’t that good-looking anyway).
did he stay?
he didn’t. he wouldn’t.
and after all the crying and shaking and screaming, she finds that she does not need him to.
and she moves on from drowning in his scent or wrapping his jacket
around her for warmth or endeavoring to love him
before she can make peace with her body. she is on her own.
she is on her own. she is on her own. she does not need him
to be whole.
(rinse and repeat for as long as it takes)
she is still hurting,
still healing, but she climbs back into her bed and takes up the
entire space by herself. she fills the hollow with her,
her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her, her,
her.
Question: When he cheats on you with another woman, who do you forgive?
- Him
- Her
- Myself
for letting anyone make her think she was worth anything less than love.
Answer: You can go to her. This hurt may be up to my chest, but I can swim.
I will no longer ache for you.
Loh Lin is a struggling student who aches to find herself and home in words. She wakes up in her heaviness almost every day, but this world still seems pretty hopeful. Maybe one day she’ll learn to be proud of her quiet.