Just a little?
That’s all that it took I guess
It doesn’t seem like something that should’ve happened so it must not be a big deal
Relax
I guess
I can try
I don’t know I’ve never done this before
No you don’t push my head down
No you don’t push my head down
No you don’t push my head down
Nobody who’s known you since you were seven should ever push your head down
But there’s more fish in the sea
And then you drop me off at the curb
But it wasn’t the first time
Because the first time was when you told me I could kiss you and then you pulled me off the path
And I was confused but I let it go as you kissed me and didn’t ask
And then you decided you could invade my privacy
Just muscle memory for you
Because it was yours to take
Not up to me
You’re so fucking hot
Oh that’s nice but can we wait
I remember being confused because if you said
We didn’t have to if I wasn’t ready
Then why did you do it again
When you write it out then you understand that it was because it didn’t matter to you that I wasn’t ready
I hope you understand
I had a crush on you in second grade
What if one day we fell in love?!
Is it safe to think that I’m not as strong as I thought I was
It doesn’t feel like it’s safe to think anything right now
I hope you understand
What’s going on up there
I feel like I finally understand
After four months of ignoring
THAT THING THAT HAPPENED IN THE FALL
Because you always think you’re untouchable until you’ve been touched
Oh
Oh shit
Well now it makes sense
I hope you never have to understand
Lying in bed feeling like you’re having a heart attack
Phrases running ultra marathons through the head
That doesn’t feel like it’s yours anymore
If you’re not in control of your body
Then you’re not in control of the most important part of your body
When they open the floodgates in your head
Thoughts rush in
But this time it feels more like a choice
Because with anxiety comes an analytical thought process
Reclamation
